Letter from Edward Johnson to Mary Greenfield
May 21, 1830
Miss G. M. Greenfield
Wilton
Near Brandon
Norfolk
My ever dear loving Mary G'fd
It is with no small degree of delight that I am again permitted to attempt to write to you my love. I can assure you that there is nothing on earth to equal it, indeed the very thoughts appear ravishing to my feelings. Although we are parted from each other's embraces for a time, yet I do hope and I do believe that it is for our good. I never should have known what I now do, had I never come to give you my love. The distance which I am from you seems to strengthen the cords of love, I can assure you sometimes I am conversing with you even now in my mind, and I do believe, as you, my love,that you do miss me. I doubt not but that you have many a joke from people, but I know you do not mind that.
When I received your letter, I mean that the day before I received it, I felt low and cast down, but on seeing your letter my heart seemed to stir within me. I was afraid all was not right at first, but blessed by God I soon found that all was right. Many a time have I felt in your company, refreshed, and then a piece of paper with your handwriting on it. Oh, how I felt, although I did not doubt of your love, yet I felt keenly when I see and felt to the burning love which you manifest to me. I cannot find words to express myself to you my ever love.
Thou knowest many things, thou knowest that I love thee, and fain would have thee my own. I think the house that Mr. Morse talked about is about a mile from Roper's. It is a farm by the self, such a place as you would like, if the farm was mine but it isn't. I do feel thankful to God that I am as comfortable as I think I ought to be here in my situation. I often think that you, my love, would make me comfortable anywhere. Sometimes I am afraid I love you too well, and yet I believe it to be Providence, as I have told you. I think perhaps that I should have been with the giddy multitude to do evil, but thanks be to God, he still do keep me, though unworthy of any good thing. I feel to need many things, such as wisdom, courage, mildness, inward piety, etc. Oh, the folks that I have to do with on the farm, appear as much like my former self, sometimes, they draw me from my guard. I fear I need much grace to stand fast, oh, I could often put in my spoke, but I feel that to be a fact "If a man bridle not his tongue, all his outward religion is vain."
My prayer is, and shall be, that the Lord would preserve me in the evil day and bring me, and you, my love, to himself at last, and to this, though, you my love will give your Amen.
The folks where I quarter are very poor indeed, they are without knowledge, do not know a letter scarce, with little or no desire to learn. There is the man and wife, & Shepherd, scarce know anything really. You said you should like to step in for a half hour. I should like you should it then would be like setting fire to me, if that was all. But time is on the wing, it will in a few weeks, I hope, bring me to you, where I may spend a week. I wish it was as long as life last providing if we had a comfortable home, but I look to Providence to provide a home in his time, his time will be the best, and with you, I believe that the time will come, when we both shall be constrained to say "The Lord have done all things well."
Thank God I begin to find out a few friends. I was talking with a farmer one night, & he said, "Will you go in & drink, for I understand that you are one of my sort." I stared at him, he say, I mean, do not swear, etc.," so I went in and had some chat with the old lady. "Once," said she, "I used to go to Trunch (?) Chapel, but I never have been lately," fair excuses. But thank God she put the life of Mr. Fletcher in my hand, and I went like the man at the Beautiful Gate, leaping etc., and my love I have heard some good preachers, one man said when Christ was crucified the blood ran two ways, it ran right back to Adam and it ran right forward to the last that should be born into the world. It oftentimes appears as if I see it streaming along the vast creation, but I want to feel it for myself. I want a little more faith to plunge into the ocean. It often appears as if I stood and viewed it, as if waiting for something. But thanks be to God I often feel it good to be here.
I dreamt that I was at Betsy Green's one night and she said, "I know he is not going to stop here, no never, no never twice--and I thought Ann said, "Ah she always ---." I thought her Master told her so, some very queer ones, but more by and by. Well, but more about my old farmer Sunday night when I came out of Chapel there was one shaking hands with me one way and another, and another, etc. When I was going of, "Hullo," said my old farmer, "Go with me," so off we went to the preacher's house at Trunch, and had some Scolt (?) wine, and then home. I told the old farmer I should like just such a place as his farm, "Ah, you are up to that, are you? Well, I will try and do what I can for you, etc." I dreamt I had two teeth all but out, so I took them out but never missed them.
One night how I went to scare some crows off the land, and there was one would not fly. I thought it was Woolsey's Jackdaw. I called Jack and it came and set on my hand. Please to ask your mother to interpret it. Is Julia dead, is Aunt Nell dead? Let me know. Is Woolsey's Jack in the box all right, forgive my nonsense. One day I was talking with our keeper about different sales of land etc. He said, "I was once at Surrey" and then he told me about the land. But I said, "What was the place's name?" He said, "A little place called Gatton" and he said, My brother was Shepherd for one "Sir Mark" Oh, I said, did you know the keeper there? Yes, he said, he came from your way some where, his name was Gathercole. No, I said, I was forced to speak, I said Greenfield. Ah, that's the name, he said. I had a freshen with him, at the Black Horse I think when I was coming away. The man's name is Woodhouse.
I think I am getting moster of young Roper. I mount my nag sometimes. I have most of the things done as liked. It was like going to school to learn at first. Their way is so different, that put one out, I warrant you. One Sunday night young Roper said You should have been with me today. I have heard a better sermon today than you have. I began to joke. I looked at him, hardly knew what to say at first. Ah, I say many can laugh at Religion, when healthy but when sickness comes, and Death approach, and Eternity begins to show itself to the mind--. I could think of a good lot then and there is it seems a vast deal of sickness in these parts, and all seem to be having them home. The preacher told us last Sunday, 13, that the corner station at Walsham that he have been to 14 or 15 people who died suddenly in a fortnight. The reason I have not till now, let you know the state of my health is because I have been waiting a little, when opportunity suit.
This is now Sunday morn, I am in great expectation of hearing Mr. Burnett this day but I'll let you know. Well, thanks be to God I am in good health, through mercy, and I do sincerely hope this will find you the same my love, and all yours and mine. Blessed be God I have had a very good state of health ever since I came here. I ought to be more thankful than I am. I sure I never missed to see my night captain on Sunday afternoons, he is short and sweet, I think. I never have been to the Chapel without the first time without feeling well under preaching. I think they preach their own experience and then right at me and they make me weep oftentimes. I often wish I could just see you my love when there, for I never can forget when I see some there like ourselves. Do you begin to be tired of reading, I don't in writing, but time flies fast when writing. I am afraid you will not make it all out for I am a poor hand at it. Excuse all blunders. What you can't read try and guess if you please. I should have written to you before my love forgive my slowness. I wanted to see Burnett first.
Now Monday noon. Well, I have seen Burnctt and heard him too. I sat in the pulpit pew almost like that where Father and Mother set, and the stairs are in the pew. I set at the farthest corner. When he come in he looked rather hard at me at first, but when he knew me, he stood right still for a moment and then fastened hold of my hand with these words, "God's blessing on you," and then he turned his eye round with such a red face and whispered, "Are you married?" which made me think of our mother G'fld. Then he mounted the pulpit, and gave out one of his favourite Hymns, "Happy the Man who Wisdom Gains, Thrice, etc" I thought he did not get over his surprise when praying for he called the afternoon night and rather hacked but he preached well from "Then Agrippa said to Paul, 'Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian,' and then a little more discourse. He say he shall be at Thetford Friday, and Brandon Sunday, and he will venture to say that he shall see some of you as he might.
My old cap man and I did not feel well all day in spiritual things. I thank you my love for your advice and by the help of God I mean to attend to it, thank God I have had some good times but I still hope for better. And now my love, pray take the advice you gave me and with you I pray till our prayer be turned into praise. I some times feel a conciliation when I think of you and yours, Betsy G., etc. Pray for unworthy me, I must conclude my love now, but ever remember that I ever remain your most unworthy yet affectionate and sincere lover.
Edward Johnson
My love to all, especially to Mothers, Fathers, sisters and brothers. I want a straw bonnet, tell Mrs. Rolfe my face is peeling, and nose and all. Please let me know how sister Betsy is and her cock-a-doodle. When I get another month over I shall begin to count the days. I go to my old farmer's and smoke my pipe. I have very little of young or green powder, chiefly Old Twankey, it keep me sober. Please when you get your holiday over write to your unworthy lover, Look out and send me all the good news you can. This leave here Tuesday noon. I like here, but I like best there... Let me have a letter in a fortnight at longest. I suppose you will go to Thetford and Brandon, Burnett will be there, he will tell you no doubt how amazed he was. May God bless thee and me. Adieu.
You can see a second letter from Edward to Mary here.